In another life, I was an ad guy. I lived, breathed and slept advertising. In short, I sucked and had no life.

But those dark days have prepared me for moments like this, when I see a big marketing mistake made by a big multinational corporation. And because I still suck and have no life, I have to mock it right away.

Last night, I saw the new commercial for Bing, the world’s latest Google-killer, courtesy of Uncle Bill at Microsoft. And all I can say is…

WTF?????!!!!!

Apple cut into Windows market share with simple, little commercials that explained why a Mac is superior to a PC. Microsoft responded with simple, little commercials that showed that a PC is cheaper than a Mac. And it worked for them!

So now that Microsoft is going up against Google, you would think they would offer a simple, little commercial that shows why Bing is a better search engine than Google, wouldn’t you?

But no!!! They have to produce this over-the-top, obtuse, nonsensical, way-too-long piece of crap commercial that tells you NOTHING about the product and which gives you no reason whatsoever to check the product out.

When the ad was over, Mrs. Mockaholic - a brilliant woman who had yet to hear of Microsoft’s new search engine - looked over at me and said, “Huh?” This commercial left her that confused.

They might as well have launched gerbils at a wall.

-J