In a move to prove their new line of laptops are the most environmentally friendly computers ever created, Apple introduced technology that allows them to run on nothing more than Fairy Dust and Rainbow Light.

“These new notebooks raise the bar on what’s possible if you just dream big enough,” said Phil Schiller in his keynote address at the Worldwide Developer’s Conference (WWDC) earlier today. “To be totally honest, some of the computer’s energy is also derived from nothing more than the positive energy that comes from our users’ good thoughts.”

The laptops also saw a price decrease to help customers afford the new machines during a recession.

“Dell offers numerous laptops for under $500, so we felt we needed to be in that lower-priced space, as well,” said Schiller. “That’s why we’ve dropped the price of our notebooks by 1.75% today. That makes our 17-inch Macbook Pro only $2448, where it was previously $3000. That’s good for consumers, good for the economy and good for Apple.”

The company also unveiled new iPhone models that operate entirely on leprechaun dreams.

-J