Archive for June 12th, 2009

Opera: “We’re Reinvent The Web Next Week.” Crickets Chirp Approval.

June 12th, 2009
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opera-logoOpera, the browser of choice for dozens of Internet users worldwide, announced today that they plan to “reinvent the internet” on June 16.

While they were intentionally vague about what their plans actually are, it seemed to interest no one. In fact, the conference call for the event was mostly just the Opera team chiming in “Tom’s here…Carol’s here…is anyone from the press here yet? Anyone?”

They were more successful in spreading the word on Twitter, however, where they were able to contact all 27 people who’ve installed their software. Most were truly excited, and maintained their stance that the “sheeple” out there wouldn’t know a good browser if it fell into their laps.

In a related story, Al Gore has his lawyers investigating whether any legal action can be taken against Opera for planning to change his invention.

-J

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Funny…Or Serious?

June 12th, 2009
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newspaper27Judging by the tone of the email people send me about Mockaholic, there seems to be some confusion as to whether this is a humor site or a serious news site.

Let me be perfectly clear on this matter, the name “Mockaholic” should be the only clue anyone needs to see that this site is completely silly serious. I have dedicated my life to serious quantities of alcohol journalism and I take shortcuts pride in my work everyday.

I am here when it’s convenient everyday to break wind important technology stories and keep you, my equally potted beloved readers, informed on the latest mail order drugs news to help you work better, play better and yodel live better.

I worked in hell Hollywood for 14 years and in con artistry advertising for 10 years. One thing I learned was to never mix vodka and muscle relaxers on your anniversary confuse your audience.

So I wanted to take this moment to waste more time on a post no one’s gonna read clear this matter up, once and for skin all.

Whether you’re reading one of Mockaholic’s news stories, titillating ribald poetry, feature articles or opinion pieces, you can not trust me believe what I’ve written. Mockaholic’s news will be 100% made up accurate, opinion columns will be poorly thought out insightful, and features stories will be just plain crap entertaining.

I just wanted you to leave me alone already know.

-J

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