Steve Jobs – If Steve’s there, I may lose it like a little girl. Hmmm…are there any girls here?

The new iPhone – Great. Now the iPhone I bought just last month is nothing but crap. What girl would want me with this outdated POS?

Snow Leopard – They should have named it “Catwoman” and dressed it in a leather-clad box.

An iPhone App that will get me girls – Now, Dammit!

Another Fanboy who speaks Klingon – Then we can speak in private and the girls won’t know what we’re saying about them!

A girl who recognizes my superiority – There’s got to be at least one out there!

“Booth Babes” – No, wait. That’s E3. All they have here are “Booth Snobs.” Why didn’t I go to E3?

Natali Del Conte – Okay, so there are no “Booth Babes.” But maybe Natali will be here. Maybe she’ll think I’m cute. Maybe…crap, it’s Brian Tong!

Amber Mac – She’s a Mac gal. She’s cute. She and I could hang. She’s…not here.

Any girl at all – Please God, let me see at least one girl…any girl.